Friday, 13 July 2012

Wow! Fantastic Baby....

Hahaha... i'm crazy in love with this song. second songs that i heard from this group, BIG BANG. anyway, congratulation Big Bang as you've done the songs that really Super-Duper Great!!! for the first songs i heard, Tonight, i like with their rhythm, energetic, same like this one. so, i've uploaded it too.

*for 2PM, i still love you all!!! 'Beautiful', this new song is so amazing with the choreography, setting of the background, red roses... that really a symbol of love. good job 2PM. the message of the song is really can be felt and touched at my tiny heart. :)

3 songs for my ear to hear before to sleep... need to sleep now... by.

Wednesday, 11 July 2012

I Hate Myself...

i hate myself when:
1. i'm jealous with something that isn't supposed to be jealous.
2. i think negatively about someone or something.
3. i want to be angry, scream, cry without any reasons.
4. i keep thinking and wondering why is this happen???
5. i suddenly feel worry. 
*seriously, i don't know why i become like this tonight. but, for the better conclusion, i think i'm:

Jealous + Keep thinking + Worry = [lastly] become CRAZY!!!


Tuesday, 5 June 2012

Blogy... I miss u...!

long time no see my blogy... miss u so much. as you know, now i'm so busy with my new job (not really, cause i've been working for a month), my new business and my new life. job huh? it isn't a 'high-level job', just an assistance at the bookshop, Pustaka Seri Intan Gong Badak (PSI GB). first day at my work, they had given the pens' section and photostat to me. as i able to memorize all types of pen and their function easily, they agreed to let me worked at this section. 

OK, no.2, new business? hahaha... don't know how to explain, but this is the reality. before i got the job, my father didn't give any opportunity for me to work, as he scared i'll be disturbed by anyone outside there. so, my lonely life came. 
My routine:
     - wake up in the morning
     - eat my meal
     - watch the television
     - and... when the night come, i go to sleep.

ARGHHHHH!!!! BORING............!!!!!!!!!!!!!

at last, Google helped me by showing some creative art that can make a business. a key-chain makes from felt-cloth...! this is really make me remember to Wani, my TESL's friend. she is the one who really love to make this type of art at our campus and it's really cute. so, i tried to learn and designed some shapes and... sold them to my siblings' friend. thank to God, i get many orders and the incomes are so... WOW!!! i think you should try too, who know you can get lot of money from it. i decide to upload the pictures of my creation, but... i still not take the pictures of them. hehehe... sorry. i promise i'll upload them in my next post.

lastly, the third, new life...
     why a new life? i don't know, but i think i try to get well in this new life. what is it? i can't tell you, but one day, when i'm ready (or i think i'm strong enough), i'll tell you what is the meaning of 'My New Life Of Me'.. :)

Tuesday, 28 February 2012

Monday, 27 February 2012


i'm really feel guilty to him now. yes, it was my fault. make a promise, but not make it. i have promised with him to call him at midnight, but as i was falling asleep, i didn't call him.
when i woke up this morning, i tried to call him. but it failed. i thought he was still sleeping. so, i tried not to bother him. at the afternoon, i tried again, but also failed, and it made me worried. until my friend, also his drama group called me, whether i had contacted with him today or not. i said, i also didn't get any contact with him. so, i became more worried. i tried again to call him, and text him. fail!!! then, i decided to call his sister. his sister said that he still sleeping. argh!!! lastly, i got to talk with him. i scolded him, because he had made me worried and his drama group waited him for 4 hours.
after i called him, i read my inbox in facebook, i saw he had sent me a message this morning, at 3 am, waiting for me to call him. now i know, why he was still sleeping when i called his sister. he waited for me until dawn. but i,... i scolded him, as he not answered my calls. it was my fault actually... i'm sorry (but i don't think by saying "i'm sorry", will pay back all that i have done to him).

Monday, 20 February 2012

Annual Dinner UiTM Foundation in TESL & Law 2011/2012

hi, hi, hi!!!
Just a simple me
it's me again (actually, it's not "again", because this is my blog. haha...). oh, as you can see, this is my picture at the annual dinner at The Zenith yesterday. look so grand huh? hehehe... the white lavender is the true theme for this annual, but as many girls could find any dresses in purple color, so we decided to wear any color that we want. so, i wore the long-sleeves turquoise dress with the set of pearl necklace and bracelet and the black belt. is it too simple?...

anyway, my beloved also went there. he is too handsome and looks dashing. i love people who look very attractive.
He is too a good-looking man, right?
i have already uploaded my picture with him. aren't we a nice couple? May God bless both of us. Amin...

and not forgotten to all my friends, Teslians, i miss you guys for-ever and i won't regret to be friend with you. i hope, wherever we are, we will always happy and remember all the memories that we have done. Our journey from may 2011 until mac 2012 must be stuck at our minds for-ever.

for my lectures, (Madam Jue, Madam An, Madam Shima, Madam Laily, Mr Nawawi, Ustaz Fathir,  Madam Hashimah,
She is really my roommate and my princess.
 Dr Rahmah), i love you all, and thank because you have to bear and accept with my type of naughtiness, laziness and talkativeness. hehehe...

my roommate, Nurrah Nadzirah a.k.a gg... you really look gorgeous yesterday, even i, your roommate can't recognize you. anyway, best try to surprise me, princess... 

Saturday, 18 February 2012

I'm not dreaming

  • like what you see, i have gotten 2 plates from my campus in English Week Competition (13th-17th February). haha... can't imagine how i can win in this competition especially in poem recitation. i just target myself to win in story telling, and alhamdulillah i got in 2nd runner up. but for poem recitation... wow!!! the winner???
  • the most unforgettable moment is when my name was called. i was very surprised that i only sat and stared at all people who were clapping their hands for me. i was blank at that time. really really blank... hahaha... 
  • oh, and also, for my group, TESL B!!! we have won as the 2nd runner up in choral speaking competition. we got the big-blue wrap hamper. congratulation to all my classmate, you are deserved to be win...
  • lastly, for my bf, congratulation too... as your group have become the winner in choral speaking. hahaha... TESL A are really the best performance and also extremely cute... anyway, i miss all my TESLians..

Friday, 17 February 2012

My Tiny Heart

I tried to face the problem alone. i don't want him to know. yes, it is true, i'm jealous when i saw him with someone else, although he just talks or does his group work.
Everyday, when i saw him in 'that condition', i feel my heart is so sick, it beats faster and more faster until i feel like i can't breathe. it makes me extremely breathless. i also feel, it stabs itself several times, and it's too pain. i try to keep quiet as i don't want anybody knows and especially him, by pushing my chest harder, slowly taking the breath and making my surrounding blur for a while. if i still can't deal with it, i'll go somewhere to cry alone.
I have to be strong, no matter how it is. he has his own life, and i'm not supposed to block it. i need to give him a chance to be with others too. so, Nel, be a girl with the strong heart, if you love him.
"p/s: Please be happy always :)"

Saturday, 4 February 2012

Boring + Tension = Not satisfied with myself

i'm not boring coz i don't have works to do, but i'm boring coz i can't do the works now. it makes me dizzy now. many of assignments, other tasking and even problems happen to me. let me do a check list first:
1. Case Study (TED072) - don't know how to relate with theories
2. The meaning of 'Rukun Iman' (CTU082) - doesn't start
3. Argumentative essay (TSL022) - when we should start it???
4. The Bemuda Triangle (TSL032) - i still not doing any research....
5. Storytelling, Radio Drama, Reader's Theater (TLD092) - still not memorize and practice
finish for the assignment... other tasking???
1. Script for English Week - i have already finished a quarter of the script
2. The Lost City Of Atlantis - still not search the fact
3. A Capella project - need to find members 
argh!!! many works to do and must be finished!!! and problem, stop coming and disturbing me... please...

Monday, 30 January 2012


mmm... i don't know how to express his happiness after i told him i'm going to annual dinner too. hehehe...

before this, i always keep secret from telling him, as i want to make him surprise to see me at there. but, he had a problem that he can't be prevented, and that made him moody and didn't want to draw a smile to me. so, i started thinking what should i do to change that kind of atmosphere. my brain can't think another ideas but push me to tell him about annual dinner.

so, i told him

"4th Feb i'll go out to change a thing at China Town. would you follow me?"
"what thing?"
"do you go to annual dinner?"
"i go, but i feel not interested to it actually"
"you're not there for me, so how am i happy to be there"
"this 4th Feb, i'm going to choose again my dress for annual dinner. so, you're coming or not?"
he was too excited, until he paused awhile to see me whether i was lying to him or not. his face was too red (too excited and furious to me), and he pinched my cheeks hardly as i can still feel the pain now. although i feel the pain, i'm feeling happy too. by making he happy, the calmness will wrap me forever.

Wednesday, 25 January 2012

A Blue Flying Lantern

23th January 2012...
          first day of Chinese New Year,
                    first time i played a flying lantern... hehe :)

it has been a long time, i waited to play this kind of lantern. at last, my dream comes true. last night, i went to TC with 'him' (can't tell his name, he's too special for me & NOT FOR OTHERS!). as soon we arrived there,  we heard and saw fireworks first from car park. there were too many and colorful and so bright. so, he brought me to the coast to see clearly the beautiful sparkling flowers in the sky. but, we don't get an opportunity... to watch it, more closer. 

when standing with frustration inside, a glowing red lantern has given us interest and happiness back. one family, Chinese's family was lighting up the candle inside the lantern, they were too excited as according to their belief, if the lantern flies away, all of our wishes will be fulfilled. we saw they wrote some hopes on the lantern before lighting up it. after analyzing how they flied the lantern, asking people around where can i get it, we decided to buy and fly it by ourselves (as it was our first time with flying lantern).

a blue flying lantern, the lantern that he chose at the shop. i still remember, we can't wait anymore to fly it as we immediately opened, widen the lantern and lighted the candle. after the candle inflamed, both of us hold the lantern face-to-face and waited until it ready to fly. that was the most moment i loved, the moment to see it fly away over us. fortunately, Alhamdulillah... the lantern flied away although it stuck at the trees as the wind changed their direction.

it was the most happiest moment which happened in this January of 2012. i hope, there are still many surprises waiting for me in the future... Amin.

Tuesday, 24 January 2012

Waiting for 'him'...

2 hours, i'm waiting. where are you now? i'm alone in my princess's chamber. please save me.. huhuhu...

where is my prince?
where is my hero?
where is my savior?

please... help me!!! the dragon of loneliness has guarded, watched and tortured me every hours, every minutes and every seconds..! please, hurry up. come to me... and save me...NOW!!! this chamber has become smaller, darker and even haunted to me... i'm scared.

*p/s: i just wait for someone, but i don't know why i imagine it as i'm in fairy tale. ^_^

Today + Holiday = What to do??

9.30 am - i woke up
as today is holiday, i decide to wake up later then before. first i thought i'll sleep until 12 noon (OMG!!!), but... because of fireworks of Chinese New Year, i woke up early (but not too early. hehee).

10.00 am - still not take a bath
although today is too hot, but i still don't want to take bath. so, turn on my small red laptop, check my boring but many posts from friends in facebook and decorate my cutie blog (is it cute?)

12.30 noon - again, still not take a bath and breakfast (am i fasting now?)
argh!!! i'm done, decorate my blog. although it looks simple, but i like it. just a simple like me, a simple girl in this world. ok, stop typing and go to bath now. by-by my newy, cutie blogy... (erk? blogy? ---- whatever...)

Thursday, 19 January 2012

Just a "Side" of me...

i always say to other people, if you see your boyfriend/girlfriend with the other boy/girl, don't be too jealous, as he/she just talking, joking each other but his/her heart still yours.


when it happens to me, i can't help myself, i just tearing inside. i try to motivate myself with my own words, it's helpless... i also a human, a weak human, have feeling of 'jealous' too... God, please help me, please give me strength to face all of this. Amin...